There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
