I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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