his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
