So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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