These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Text me some of your sweat
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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