I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
