There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
