I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
