She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
