we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
