I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
