how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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