hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
