Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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