hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
