"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
