this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
