i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
