i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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