it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
