Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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