Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my liver is dry heaving
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
