9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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