i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So much rum. So many feels.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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