I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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