i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've blown a few things in my day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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