you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
