i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
