Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
