shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
