32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize