Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
