How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
