the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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