o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
