So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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