i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize