By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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