Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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