WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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