if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
