and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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