not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
