Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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