were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
