sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
