we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
