Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
