oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
