and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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