Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
