I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
