dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You're like the curious george of whores
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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