Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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