wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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