You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize